Good day!
Apologies again for lack of blog - I have been vair vair busy and cannot summon up the energy to blog.
It seems we have a lot of catching up to do! I will try my best to remember everything.
It seems I may have given up blogging when I got drunk. Llody, Jizz and I went out for a night on the lash, and Llody, being a wonderful conversationalist, got talking to a random girl who works for the venue. She followed us around for most of the night, sparking off wonderings of whether or not she was barking up the incorrect tree in reference to Llody. This made us laugh a lot. However, in an intriguing turn of events, she is infact a lesbian who decided to be in love with JIZZ! Excellent. This provided much mirth.
We then put on our dancing footwear and travelled through the street in search of a nightclub. We came across the Hive, hole of Edinburgh and the place where neds go to die and drink tequilla. I got elbowed in the face and left.
We left the lesbian in the club, and then went to Opium. I saw two goths having sex under a pool table and then decided it was time I went home.
We did.
Llody: When I am drunk in a taxi with my friends, we call the taxi driver Rumplestiltskin. May we call you Rumplestiltskin?
Taxi Driver: How about Rapunzel? Heh heh.
Llody: No. Rumplestiltskin is fine.
Taxi Driver: Eh... aye, awright then. That's ten pounds ninety please.
Jodie: Jizz and I have a tenner, Llody. Do you have ninety pence?
Llody: *throws money at glass screen* Take your eleventy pounds, Rumplestiltskin! *skips off into the night*
Excellent.
Other things that we has done on our holidays:
1) Went to see The Ginge, The Geordie and The Geek. We laughed a bit and I ate an apple and got my picture taken with a cow.
2) Chris moved into the campervan and had a wank in the showers. Told us later. We were a bit sick.
3) Had another night out and watched an Indian film outside. Llody was racist and we went home with paella (not a person).
4) Went to see Naked Splendour and drew a fat, naked man. Did not see penis. Only extra skin. Did draw good pictures though.
5) Had two cupcakes. One chocolate, one carrot. Carrot was rubbish. Chocolate was yummy.
6) Wore a pretty dress to town one day. Went for lunch with Jizz and dropped tomato-covered prawns on pretty dress. Now minging dress.
7) Ugly Ginger fell down backstage. Laughed A LOT and gave myself a headache. Went for a wee and missed the bows.
8) BOUGHT A FILOFAX!
9) Got too excited about stationary.
10) Played charades with Llody. He was totally shit so we laughed at him for approx. 20mins.
11) Had a fight with a lady over a free cup of tea (if you're reading, bitch, I'm not giving you 75-fucking-p for a cup of hot water).
12) Had at least 783 crepes and nutella.
13) Took Llody to see a musical. He liked it a lot.
14) Got free ginger beer from a party bus. Ugly Ginger looked like my nan at a wedding. Tried to leave her on bus. She found us.
15) Chris peed in a lucozade bottle. It is still on shelf.
16) Discovered Chris has a Boots meal deal every day. Scorns us when we do not get one.
17) Chased a dog into a hedge. Owner turned up. Made us watch while it caught sticks. Awkward, as I had just shouted that it was shitting in the bushes.
18) Ugly Ginger bought a banana guard (we thought it was a sexual device)
19) Chris took a picture of his pubes on my camera when drunk. Found next day. Was sick.
20) Emptied wee out of campervan. Ugly Ginger spilled on shoes. Was VAIR funny.
I hope to keep entertaining you!
Love you
Toodles xx
marry me
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