Losing my blogging virginity

Well hello readers/friends/stalkers/spies (if you're out there...),

My pal The Ugly Ginger has recently started blogging and I thought I'd give it a bash, so here we are. I am The Cake Chomper and I am here to offer a modern girl's perspective on all things moden, whilst throwing in odd quipps and tales regarding cake and confectionary. I fancy myself as a fat Carrie Bradshaw, with less shoes and more empty wine bottles. But that is neither here nor there. Let me explain a bit about myself.

I am 21 and living in one of Britain's many hell-holes - Carlisle. I have a pretty average family who live in an average house back in Scotland. I have a chronic passion for all things sweet and cake-like, and I am extremely guilty of indulging in one too many vodkas on a night out on the town and doing very silly things - more of this in my future blogs I expect. I live with my three insane flatmates - The Ugly Ginger (who, of course, is not ugly at all but terribly beautiful, with impeccable fashion sense and an excellent sense of humour - not to mention breasts that grew 3 cupsizes over night. Bitch), Petit-Filou Bear (my other female flatmate who seems capable of surviving on nothing but children's yoghurt and the occasional vodka) and Mr. Pricklepants (our only male flatmate, who's hobbies include walking in on us in the shower/toilet/whilst we are changing, singing opera and anything manufactured by Apple). We are... an ecclectic bunch to say the least, but we fit together like a dysfunctional jigsaw.
We met whilst 'studying' (used extremely loosely) for our Performing Arts degrees. We all arrived fresh faced and eager to begin in September of 2007. We packed our little napsacks with jazz shoes, dictaphones and complete works of William Shakespeare and went to our first lesson, shaking with anticipation and keen to perform some of the greatest plays ever written.
Instead, we met John Topping, the course leader, who was smacked off his tits from red wine and marajuana and asked us to "stand in a line... and boogie". We emptied our napsacks of our jazz shoes, dictaphones and complete works of William Shakespeare, and instead filled them with vodka, condoms and glowsticks.
The three of us were united, as we did not fit ANYWHERE. Ugly Ginger is stunningly beautiful, but ruins it for herself with her farting, burping and crude jokes, thus making her unable to be friends with pretty dancers. Mr Pricklepants is male, and... occasionally plays Fifa and things, but sings opera at the top of his voice and can put his legs behind his head, therefore he doesn't gain many invites to the pub and football. Petit-Filou bear is very pretty and smart, but has a great desire to run away with the circus and can't hold a conversation for more than 30 seconds, so no intelligent people can be arsed with her. And myself? I am none of these things, but because I am so thigh-slappingly hilarious and beautiful and kind and considerate, I took these three misfits under my wing, and we formed our little gang.

So, this is how we came to be.

Basically, I decided to start my blog to make people laugh and also as a kind of therapy, to bitch about my friends without naming their names and rant about my job. I didn't want to get a blog to be pretentious, and post links of interesting things that people should look at. If you want it, google it or something - if you're on my blog, READ MY BLOG, I'M INTERESTING!

I'm leaving out a very important fact about my life, here. I want to be a comedian. Well, I should say comedienne, technically. I have wanted to do this for nearly my whole life, as I love to make people laugh, and I think I'm quite good at it, actually. I have recently discovered that Ugly Ginger and I are really rather good at doing this together, so we decided to form a little duo, and put on a show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year (2010, for all you hermits and time travelers). It's about life on buses and things. It's really good and we got a first for it (up yours). I hope I'm selling it to you (book tickets on http://www.edfringe.com/ and search 'Route 52', plug plug plug).

Anyway, this is it for my little scene-setting post. I promise that next time I'll be a little less self-indulgent and write some good things. I just felt that if we were to continue on this journey together, you ought to know a reasonable amount about me, so you know what I'm saying... you understand?

I hope you will read more of my posts in the future, oh oh, and look up my pal The Ugly Ginger. She writes about what she's had for her tea. Gripping stuff.

Nighty night xxx