1) They literally stalk you until you become interested, and then they run away and hide and are harder to find than sweetcorn in shite.
2) Once they are with you, there is always the "ex girlfriend" problem. They either HAVE an ex girlfriend who they are horrifically, mentally in love with, or you are the said ex girlfriend who is left scared and confused at the sexed up mentalist.
3) They piss you off to the point where you have comforting visions of ripping off their lad with your teeth... And then they say something remotely nice and you seem to have had a conk on the head and forgotten it all.
4) They are great, sweaty smelly beasts who revolt you and yet entice you into the knicker-less dance.
5) Most of them chew with their mouth open and dribble on themselves. Those who don't are most probably homosexuals.
6) Most of them insist on giving you a dirty great snog before they've brushed the kebab taste out of their mouth from the night before. Those who don't are most likely homosexuals.
7) When they have pissed you off to high heaven, they are extraordinarily appalling at mind reading, therefore cannot cheer you up in anyway and get you even more fecked off.
They just bloody frigging well annoy me a good majority of the time.
This makes no sense and is merely a rant. If you lady folk have anything to add to this ever-growing list, DO contact me. Answers on a postcard.
Love you
Toodles xx
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